Knowing: Review by The Loser

KNOWING:

In 1959, at William Dawes Elementary School in Lexington, Massachusetts, a time capsule containing students' drawings of their ideas of the future is buried and set to be ceremoniously opened 50 years later. A girl named Lucinda Embry contributes a page full of seemingly random numbers although she is stopped before she completes the page. That night, she is found in a school closet, where she has scratched the remaining numbers on the door with her bare hands, and she has complained about hearing voices in her head.

In 2009, the time capsule is opened and the drawings are given to the current students. A boy named Caleb receives Lucinda's envelope. His father, John Koestler, a widower and professor of astrophysics at MIT, takes interest in the paper and soon realizes some of the digits represent the dates and death tolls of every major disaster over the past fifty years, and suggests three disasters still to come. Meanwhile Caleb begins receiving visits from mysterious figures in overcoats, "The Strangers". During these encounters he hears their overlapping telepathic whispers.

Pros: Some pretty High-octane action scenes going on here. My personal favorite one being the plane crashing into the highway. It's pretty intense and you see burning people screaming as they stumble around on the ground. It's entertaining as hell, albeit gruesome.

Cons: Way to many to name, but I will try to tell you how bad this movie is. Ok, first of all, the actors might as well be zombies. Nicholas Cage delivers his lines with the enthusiasam of a paitent with terminal cancer, and the child actors are so honest to god-awful, that I cringed every time they spoke. Some of you may recognize Caleb as the kid from I Am Legend. (He didn't speak in that movie;no wonder it was so good). While not as bad, John's friend, Diana, is completely unremarkable, along with every other actor in the movie. One thing that is always stuck in my mind is the scene when they dig up the time capsule in the school yard, all the children get pictures except for Caleb. While Caleb is looking at the sheet of numbers he dug up, a boy walks over to him and says, "Haha, all of us got pictures!" Yet this line is unreasonably badly delivered, and I mean BAD. It is so bad, in acting school, they should use it as an example of what NOT to do.

Besides the abmysal acting, the movie's disaster scenes are also boring and dumb (albeit the plane scene, which i liked). The train disaster makes no sense and I don't even remember if they explained how it happened. Also, the biggest and final disaster, where (SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT) the Earth is destroyed probaly has the worst special effects in recent memory.

Oh yes, speaking of the ending. IT WAS THE WORST ENDING POSSIBLE!  It rendered the ENTIRE movie useless, because no matter how much Nicholas Cage tried to stop the disasters, HE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. So, (SPOILERS) Earth blows up anyways, making all that reaserch and talking in the movie useless,  which makes you think about how much time you wasted watching Knowing.

BOTTOM LINE: Thankfully, I saw Kick-Ass AFTER I saw this movie, which reminded me again about why I like Nicholas Cage. This movie looked awesome in it's teaser trailers and massive marketing campaign, but it DID NOT live up to the hype. See, this is one of those movies where if someone told me to review it IMMEDIATLY after I saw it, I would probaly have rated it higher and liked it more. But once you think about the abmysal acting, laughable story, mediocre special effects, and boring and uninteresting characters, you realize how bad this movie is. Oh one more thing. In the end,  some sort of mystical beings (I think aliens) take the kids to another planet to avoid Earth's impending demise. IT IS THE STUPIDESSTT thing ever!  The kids run away holding animals to explore this new planet and... AGHHHHHH!!! DO NOT see this movie! EVER!

Did it live up to the hype? NO

Re-Watchable?  NO

Watchable? If you can ignore the acting and special effects, it is somewhat watchable. I suggest turning it off thirty minutes before the movie ends though.

OVERALL SCORE: 4/10

Day of The Dead (Remake)

DAY OF THE DEAD: REVIEW BY THE LOSER
Day of The Dead is a movie based of the George A. Romero film of the same name. It's your typical zombie flick. Virus spreads in a small town, people turn into flesh eating zombies, can only be killed with a head shot or fire. A group of people who are immune (which include a woman army soldier, a teenage couple and a black man.

Pros:  If you just want to see a good ol' zombie flick, this is your movie. Yes it is stupid, and most (all) of the jokes fall flat, but it is still fun to watch and a good movie to watch on a rainy weekend day. Also, one thing I liked about this movie is that, it seemed less; grim, than other zombie flicks. It has its comic relief characters and such, and of course all the fake things in cinema go for this movie such as: the people never have to go to the bathroom, eat, or drink. They are always full on ammunition for their weapons, and they are completely calm when zombies attack. This movie gets good 30 minutes in, when they arrive at the hospital, everyone is a zombie and all hell breaks loose.  My favorite character was probaly the black dude, because he was so stereotypical and constantly shouting one liners and pop culture refrences, I just kinda thought he was cool.

Cons: Completely thrown-together story, without even seeing the re-make i can tell that this one's story is not faithful to the orignal's at all.  The ending was extermely anti-climactic to say the least, and left you wanting more. The black dude (my favorite character), dies without any rhyme or reason, and nothing changed because of his death, I thought his death was completely pointless and a symptom of poor writing.

Bottom Line: If you're bored and just looking for some cheap entertainment, you can't go wrong with Day of the Dead.

Entertainment Score: 9
Rewatch Score: 6
OVERALL SCORE: 8/10

Cons:

UPDATE: NEW MEMBER INSANE CRITIC and Star Trek Review

ATTN: A NEW BLOGGER HAS JOINED THE LOSERS, SO EVERYONE SAY HI TO INSANE CRITIC.

STAR TREK REVIEW
On the day of James Kirk's birth, his father dies on his ship in a last stand against a mysterious alien vessel. He was looking for Ambassador Spock, who is a child on Vulcan at that time, disdained by his neighbors for his half-human nature. Twenty years later, Kirk has grown into a young troublemaker inspired by Capt. Christopher Pike to fulfill his potential in Starfleet even as he annoys his instructors like young Lt. Spock. Suddenly, there is an emergency at Vulcan and the newly commissioned USS Enterprise is crewed with promising cadets like Nyota Uhura, Hikaru Sulu, Pavel Chekov and even Kirk himself thanks to Leonard McCoy's medical trickery. Together, this crew will have an adventure in the final frontier where the old legend is altered forever even as the new version of it is just beginning.




Pros: Like Avatar, but better. I personally think this movie has top-notch writing, especially in the scenes where Spock (Zachary Quinto) has his epic monologues. Anyways, one thing I have to say right off the bat is that you dont need to know any of the Star Trek lore to understand the story. The movie explains it pretty well, and thanks to some great camera work and acting, makes you very sad in the beginning of the movie, in a scene where a captain has to sacrifice himself to save his child. I was actually surprised how emotionally impactful this scene was. Also, I love this part where one of the crew members on the ship gets sucked into space and the second she flies into space it turns silent (no sound in space). I think the merit for best actor in this movie goes to Zachary Quinto. He is perfectly suited for the role of an emotionless, intelligent Vulcan (Vulcans are a human-like alien race). Pretty much everything he says is interesting to listen to, and if you are one of those people who hates movies with lots of talking, you will still love the talking in this movie.


Cons:A few weak scenes here and there, some pointless scenes also. Almost a complete lack of licensed tracks, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I still like it when a movie has some good songs in it.


Bottom Line: A much better film than Avatar. J.J Abrams is at his best here, and an excellent cast of actors. The epicness of this movie is also up to par with that of Avatar. If you like Sci Fi, see this movie. Also, if you didn't LOVE Avatar, you will still like this movie.
Entertainment Rating: 9
Hype Rating: 10
Overall Score: 9.3

Shutter Island: Review by Insane Critic

This was an excellent movie. i'd say its an 9.5. it has a great plot, a great cast, and an absolutely amazing ending. now getting more specific i took away that .5 because the ending was kind of confusing. i dont want to give away the crazy twist, but you really have to listen to what there talking about when leonardo dicaprio goes to the lighthouse.

somtimes it got kind of stupid like when leonardo is in the holding cells for the really insane people, they made the guys in there BUTT NAKED! i mean really you could at least give them a blanket!! i thought dorthea dix already solved that problem. otherwise it was fantastic.

some people say that the movie is kind of repetitive, but it isn't. you really just have to pay attention in the talking scenes. youll be amazed by this movies twist. if you havent seen this movie yet, YOU HAVE TO!!!

UPDATE:: KICK-ASS REVIEW

Hi people. I have updated my review of Kick-Ass.

It now has a much easier to read text style and more detailed Pro and Con sections.

Enjoy!

-The Loser

Avatar

THE LOSER: AVATAR REVIEW

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A huge commerical sucsess, Avatar won over audinces with its mind-blowing special effects and 3-D Technology. Im here to tell you why it really is not that good.

When his brother is killed in a robbery, paraplegic Marine Jake Sully decides to take his place in a mission on the distant world of Pandora. There he learns of greedy corporate figurehead Parker Selfridge's intentions of driving off the native humanoid "Na'vi" in order to mine for the precious material scattered throughout their rich woodland. In exchange for the spinal surgery that will fix his legs, Jake gathers intel for the cooperating military unit spearheaded by gung-ho Colonel Quaritch, while simultaneously attempting to infiltrate the Na'vi people with the use of an "avatar" identity. While Jake begins to bond with the native tribe and quickly falls in love with the beautiful alien Neytiri, the restless Colonel moves forward with his ruthless extermination tactics, forcing the soldier to take a stand - and fight back in an epic battle for the fate of Pandora.

Pros: The movie has the best special effects to date. The world James Cameron has created is simply beautiful. With a lush ecosystem and terrain, it really is a finely crafted world.

Beyond the special effects, the movie has one thing going for it, that being: Epicness. Epicness is a word I will use a lot in my reviews. Basically, it means huge and awesome. That word pertains to this movie because of the scenes where dramatic music is playing and missiles are firing and trees are collapsing and shit. It really is quite the spectacle.

Cons:

I think that explains the plot...

but yes, the movie is an exact copy of Pocahontas. It screams environmentalist, (while not necessarily an entirely bad thing, it does get annoying with the whole "mother tree" fiasco. Also, the 3-D in this movie ABSOLUTELY SUCKED! Not ONE thing popped out at me the whole time. Oh, and Avatar, by the way, thanks for the offer but I don't get turned on by 9' foot blue people doing it in the forest. Also, this HAS to be the dumbest title ever. I know me and a lot of other people thought of that Nickelodeon cartoon The Last Airbender when we first heard of this movie. Not only that, but there actually is a movie coming out by M.Night.Shamylan called The Last Airbender! I can just imagine, some big-box office- assholes sitting at their desks. "Hey, lets name the movie Avatar because maybe more kids will see it!" Yea, if I made this movie, I would have pushed the rating up to R, added a more grim storyline, make the aliens look cooler than 9 foot walking dicks, and add an original story.

Bottom Line: While it may seem like the CONS outweigh the PROS, it is still a good movie. It's special effects really will blow you away, and for some time in the movie, you really get immersed into it. My personal favorite scene was the scene where the aliens teach Jake Sully (main character) to fly one of the native birds on the planet. I just thought it was a nice touch to the movie. All in all, Avatar is a good movie that goes on for WAY too long, has a EXTREMELY SUCKISH ENDING!! Seriously, the ending is terrible. If you like Sci-Fi, see it. Otherwise, don't.

"How entertaining was it?": 7

Did it live up to the hype? : 7

Overall Score: 7

Black Hawk Down

BLACK HAWK DOWN: LOSER REVIEW

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Black Hawk Down is a 2001 American war film co-produced and directed by Ridley Scott, who also directed the movie Alien, and Blade Runner, along with others. and based on the book of the same title by Mark Bowden that depicts the Battle of Mogadishu, a raid integral to the United States' effort to capture Somali warlord Mohamed Farrah Aidid.

In a raid, a task force of Delta Force soldiers, Army Rangers, and Special Operations Aviation Regiment attempt to capture two of Mohamed Farah Aidid's senior subordinates in the Bakaara Market neighborhood of Mogadishu. The mission is led by Major General William F. Garrison and is supposed to take no more than half an hour. The extraction by the Delta team is successful, but the Somali militia, armed with RPGs, shoot down two Black Hawk helicopters, and the resulting rescue extends the mission to over 18 hours.

PROS: Like Call of Duty? Good, because this movie plays out completely like a level of Call of Duty. U.S soldiers arrive in a town to capture the subordinates of a known terrorist. At first everything seems to go well, no gun is fired, but then, (just like Call of Duty) a group of terrorists with RPG's fire at the helicopters letting soldiers onto the ground. It is a nicely done scene, and even though the rocket does not hit the helicopter, the helicopter swerves, causing a soldier rappeling down to fall. It is a nice little subplot how they try to get him evacuated, but keep getting into trouble. Not much to say besides this: This movie has some cool action scenes and a somewhat cool (i guess) scene where the gun of one soldier deafens the other soldier.

CONS: They don't make you care why the army is doing this, besides a short intro, which still isn't very convincing that this terrorist is actually a very bad guy. The whole movie has this somewhat, gray color. I can't explain it well, but it has a dull color pallet. I know its only because the movie is in an urban environment 90% of the time, but I wish they were in a somewhat more colorful place.

BOTTOM LINE: A movie that is worth your time, while definitely no Hurt Locker, or Full Metal Jacket, It is still an enjoyable and entertaining movie.

SCORE: 7/10

Hardboiled

HARDBOILED: The Loser review

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Hardboiled is legendary director John Woo's last film before he came to the United States. The entire film is in Chinese. It follows the story of Tequila, hardboiled cop who is out for revenge on a criminal organization that killed his partner.

Pros: The Die Hard of China. No, the plots are very different, as are the characters, but both are excellent action films. When you first start up Hardboiled, you might think it is a slow movie. I am guilty of this, but a few minutes into the movie, you are thrown into one of the most well done action scenes ever filmed. Bullets fly everywhere, ricocheting and piercing flesh. Tequila slides down the hand guards of stairways, dual wielding pistols, and landing head shots. Not only are a lot of people shot, but it is also very bloody. Bullets act like they would in real life, spilling blood by the gallons. I cannot describe the scene very well, but if you see it you will completely understand. It is amazing. Now, while all this shooting is going on, Tequila's partner is being pounded with bullets. This movie is not 24 or Commando where the bullets seem to move out of the main character's way. Tequila's partner is shot and shot until he is coughing blood. Finally, he dies, and in an awesome following scene, Tequila grabs the man who shot his partner and takes him out at close range with a pistol head shot. Another thing I love about this movie is the completely appropriate story, it is not a Fast and Furious type movie where there is an enormous, impossible to follow without getting bored plot. No, this movies plot is easy to follow and everything that Tequila does is completely realistic (save for the over the top action scenes). You start to really like his character, and his friend who is an undercover cop that was working with a criminal gang.

Besides the opening scene, there are 2 other scenes that are sublime in terms of action. The warehouse scene and the Hospital shootout. If you like action, you will absolutely love these scenes.

This may just be me, but I think the fact that the film is in Chinese adds a lot of authenticity and a special touch to the film. Besides, I take subtitles over dubbing ANYDAY.

CONS: Some fake sounding gunshot sound effects, and you will soon know that a certian sound is used for all pistols, one for all shotguns, ect. Also, some people may have a problem with the film being in Chinese, but I actually like it. Besides that, no other bad things come to mind. It isin't a 10/10, but is definitely a fine piece of work.

BOTTOM LINE: If you speak Chinese and like action movies, you will love this movie. If you do not speak Chinese and like action movies, you will still love this movie. From beginning to end, it is an engaging film and one of the most entertaining I have seen in a while. If you like stylish action, you will definitely love this movie. This was my first John Woo movie, and has given me a great impression of him, and not to mention Chow Yun Fat (the actor who plays Tequila). This is a must watch for fans of action.

Score: 9.0 out of 10

Kick-Ass (SPOILER ALERT)

KICK-ASS: Review by The Loser

Kick-Ass earned over $12 million internationally in advance of opening in the United States. On its debut weekend in the United States, it took in $19.8 million in 3,065 theaters, averaging $6,444 per theater. Kick-Ass was reported #1, slightly ahead of How to Train Your Dragon in that film's third week. The numbers included non-weekend preview earnings. The opening week numbers were considered by analysts and the media to be a disappointment, though "fairly solid". The basic premise of the story is, one day a teenage boy named Dave questions why no one has tried to be a superhero, even though comics have millions of fans worldwide. He decides he wants to be the first one, so he gets a costume, and weapons and heads out to fight crime. He is Kick-Ass, superhero extrodinarre. Along the way he meets some friends, and some enemies. The film shows realistically how doing this in real life could result in PLENTY of life threatening situations and also many responsibilities

PROS:` Let me just start off by saying I love the main character, Dave. He is close to my age, so I can relate with him well.Like a lot of boys in high school, he is invisible to girls, has a huge crush on a girl he never has the guts to talk to, and spends his time on the computer watching porn or chatting with his friends. He felt very organic, not like a template. He was not a "nerd" or "jock" or "emo" he was just a "dude". I love his narration of high school life and just the thoughts going around in his head. There obviously was a lot of thought put into this movie's writing, and it is clearly visible. Also, unlike most movies, I liked the romance story between Dave and his love interest, Katie. Let me just quickly explain. So Dave wants to be a superhero and fight crime, so his first 2 victims are 2 thugs that always rob him on his way back from school. The day after he becomes "Kick-Ass" (his superhero alter-ego), he decides he needs to put their petty crimes to rest. Dave (Kick-Ass) walks up to them in full costume, takes out his 2 metal batons (weapons of choice) and starts whacking them. He takes out the first guy, but the second one dodges all his attacks and takes out a knife and stabs Dave. Dave ends up in the hospital, and afterwards, his dad tells him they found him with no clothes on. Dave realizes his dad thinks he was raped, and tells him that the doctor threw away his clothes in the ambulance because of the blood. Of course, word spreads, and in school people suspect Dave is gay because they think he was raped by the thugs who stabbed him. So when Dave is at his locker, his crush, Katie (who is appropriately hot) walks up to him and asks him if he wants to hang out at the comic store after school.

From that point on, they are best friends (Katie thinks Dave is her "gay BFF"). And I found myself thinking "comeon! tell her you aren't gay!". He does eventually, and its funny when he does because he climbs through Katie's window in full Kick-Ass costume, causing her to panic and spray hairspray in his eyes.

Another set of characters I loved were Big Daddy and Hit Girl. Big Daddy is the daughter of Hit Girl, and they are both trying to put a drug dealer lord behind bars. From their first scene, you can tell they are severely fucked up in the head. Big Daddy offers Hit Girl ice cream if she practices being shot with armor 3 more times. Also, when Big Daddy asks Hit Girl what she wants for her birthday, Hit Girl replies with a puppy and a Bratz doll. Big Daddy looks at her like "what the hell?" and Hit Girl (who is 11 by the way) responds with "Im just fuckin wit ya daddy, I want 2 butterfly knives." They both laugh and the dad says "thats my girl!". I love it.

Last part of Pro's is the action scenes. Amazing. Completely and utterly, brilliant. They are both disturbing and intense, you cheer on the good guys all through them, (especially in a certain torture scene. The final act of the movie is one of the best i have seen in my life.

CONS: Torwards the end of the movie,Kick-Ass turns into what it is supposed to be parodying; a superhero movie. This is a very small complaint, as I really would rather have that then seeing him being beat up by thugs. Also, I disliked how Hit Girl stole the show a lot, and I wanted Kick-Ass to actually, you know, KICK ASS at some parts and he did and at the end he is a complete monster (speaking figuratively) but I wish he would have beat up some more bad dudes, as he was my favorite character. These are minor complaints aside from an incredible film.

BOTTOM LINE: Don't go to this movie expecting a lighthearted-comedic spoof. While it is very funny, it also has a very serious tone, showing what kind of shit you could get into being a superhero. Extremly violent and vulgar, it is not for the faint of heart. If this seems right up your alley though, by all means see it. It may take you some time to realize just how good and entertaining it is, but IT WILL KICK YOUR ASS!

(Also, Dave's girlfriend is extremely hot.)

SCORE: 9.8

The Losers: Review

THE LOSERS: REVIEW BY THE LOSER

For my first review, I will be reviewing The Losers.

This movie came out in 2010, and didn't seem to gain too much commercial attention. Sure, you would see a billboard every now and then, and commercials on T.V, but it sure wasn't a blockbuster. The movie is about a group of millitary/ CIA rejects on a quest for revenge to kill a terrorist named Max.

All my reviews will go like this. I will have Pros, Cons, Bottom Line, and the score.

Pros: I really liked the characters, most of them are likable, and you tend to see why they are doing what they are doing and hope they succeed, even if the plot is riddled with inconsistencies.

Ignoring the somewhat mediocre special effects, the scenes are shot very well. Gunfights are tense and exciting, and the film tries to be indie-ish at some points, and generally works it out pretty well. One of my favorite examples the part is when just after Jensen (Chris Evans) has sex with his lover, Aisha, (Zoe Saldana) they walk down the stairs in the morning, but they move frame by frame to the beat of the song playing in the background. I think this scene just added a great touch, and felt very bad-ass in general. I also liked how the bad guy is a complete asshole, yet in a somewhat, elegant way. He wastes people when he feels like it and he goes with a simple name: Max.

Cons: I stopped caring about most of the minor sublots halfway into the movie. This is all you need to understand. Good Guys want revenge on Bad Guy. Bad Guy ruined their life. Bad Guy wants world domination.

Yep, thats pretty much it. Not much to it. One thing I HATED about this movie is how one of the black characters is a walking stereotype, taking out his knife whenever he gets mad, and quick to get angry, while he also has a certain "Ghetto" vibe to him. I love movies where the black people act like they should, that being, NORMAL. Not some "gangsta" script template. Just a cool guy.

Also, while this movie does have some good jokes, some of them just fall plain flat. For instance, in the trailer, it shows 2 of the Losers sitting in the car with the others, they had recently been in a brawl, and are trying to apologize. After they do their "Im sorry's" the driver asks, "Well don't you feel so much better now?" and they both answer simultaneously "no". I actually laughed when I first saw it, but as with all movies, They use up their good jokes in the trailers. Oh and the special effects, well let me say this. The fire and explosion effects SUCK. If you have one of those friends who always says "OMG THTS SO FAKE!" don't go to this movie with him.

BOTTOM LINE: If you're hungry for some cheap laughs and some cool gun/fight sequences and (almost) topless chicks, see this movie. If not, SEE FUCKING KICKASS!!

(Reviewing it next)

Rating: 8 out of 10

Hello people of the internet

As this is my first post, no one is probaly reading this.

Basically, this blog is a movie reviewing blog, but you guys can request a review of something (as long as I have it/ have seen it)

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