Easy-A: Loser Review

EASY A: LOSER REVIEW

Starring Emma Stone (Zombieland), this is a film about a girl in high school who starts pretending to have sex with people for cash. Ugly rumors spread around school about her, and she easily dismisses them as false because she did not actually have sex with anyone. However, she eventually becomes bothered and hurt by all the rumors, and the way she solves her problems in the movies is done pretty well. I really gave the bare minimum of a description for the plot. I really enjoyed this movie a lot more than I thought it would, and it is definetly worth your money.

Emma Stone plays a likeable character named Olive who you are rooting for the entire movie, and while she is a cool character, you like her more mostly because her opposition are complete and utter assholes. The story is done in a really cool way. It starts off as "I'll only help you because you are my friend and only one time" thing but she soon starts faking sex/make outs for cash. Boys will give her an 100 dollar amazon gift card if she tells people they made out. At first she likes the attention, because before, no one ever paid attention to her, so just the fact that people know she exists makes her happy. However, some people figure out ways to make her miserable.

While this movie is not hilarious, it does have some great diolauge and a few good jokes, but it is funny in more in a clever way not in a laugh out loud funny way, yet there are some jokes that make you laugh out loud. The pacing for the movie is done well, and it is split into 4 parts. The whole movie is being narrated by Olive, and is supposed to be like a document of everything thats happened by her in her web video.

Funny and likeable characters make this movie. None of them are copy-paste characters, and a great script helps everything.

A really good film that most teenagers will like a lot and adults will appreciate.

I give it a 9.5 out of 10.

SEE IT!

SUPPORT GOOD MOVIES

-THE LOSER

Predators: Review by The Loser

PREDATORS: REVIEW

Summary: Predators is a 2010 action movie directed by Nimrod Antal. It is the 4th movie he has directed. I won't really explain the plot, only because if you are seeing this movie it is most likely because you have seen the original 1987 film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Basically a bunch of people all awake in an unknown jungle and are being hunted by something.

Pros: The cast works suprisingly better than I thought. Of course they can't replace Arnold from the first film, but Adrien Brody (The Pianist, King Kong) is great as the leading jar-headed character and I was really pleased with his performance in this film. Topher Grace (Spiderman 3) starts off likable, but soon becomes pretty annoying and his character seems like it has no other use other than to deliver useless filler dialogue. 

The action in this movie, however, is great! It's definetly the best part of the movie, and everything you would expect from the first movie is here. Remeber that scene in the first film where they fire ammunition blindly into the forest for a good 10 minutes? While not quite as entertaining or long, that scene is here. Not to mention that the Predator aliens look awesome with modern special effects, and I am REALLY happy that the predators in this movie are actually people in costumes and not crappy CGI. Their movements look as organic as ever, and they haven't made any stupid changes to the Predator's looks. The dialouge, while nothing special, is decent enough for this type of film. The film generally moves along at a good pace, and you won't get bored.  Laurence Fishburne (The Matrix) also makes an appearnce, though he doesn't have that much screen time, and has that stupid- really deep to the point where you can't understand him- voice that seems to be all the rage.

Cons: Though some people might disagree with me, I thought this movie was surprisingly tame when it came to blood and gore. Sure, the predator ripped out a guy's spine (once) and stabbed people in the back plenty of times, but it just didn't seem as gory as the first one. For some people, this might be a good thing, but for me, the movie didn't really seem like a Predator movie. I guess I liked it better when all the blood was practical effects and not CGI. Other than that it didn't really feel like a Predator movie, I can't find any major flaws with this.

Bottom Line: Cool action, good cast,  nice to see the predators back in 2010.  A nice summer action flick that will leave you satisfied, but mabye a little dissapointed.

Is it funny?  Yea, and none of the jokes really fall flat. 

Watch in theaters or at home?  I would say at home, as the movie isn't in (good) 3D or anything.

OVERALL RATING: 8/10

Grindhouse: Review by The Loser

GRINDHOUSE
Before I begin the review, I would just like to clarify to those not farmilliar with Grindhouse, that it is 2 movies in 1. See, the movie is basically pretending to be an exploitation film shown in "Grindhouse" theaters during the 70's. These theaters basically were the lower class theaters that often showed cheap gory films or just downright porn. As with modern American movies, sex is considered worse than violence, so don't expect these movies to be fap-tastic or anything. Anyways, these movies were double features, which meant you got 2 movies for the price of one. As you can see above, the two movies in Grindhouse are Planet Terror, and  Death Proof.


This Review will consist of me just sharing my thoughts about both movies, instead of a formal template for the review.


PLANET TERROR:
The plot of this movie consists of some military bio-weapon gone wrong when the poisonous gas it uses is released into the air and starts mutating everyone. A group of survivors are humanities only hope.In the first ten minutes you see a man's testicles cut off and stepped on. This movie isn't for the faint of heart. Gorier than pretty much every movie I've ever seen (I might be wrong, and I have yet to see Dead-Alive) this movie really amps up the shock value and gore factor found in other films. Now, when I first saw the poster and trailer for this, I thought it looked really dumb. I remember that the lady with the gun as her leg made me think the movie was dumb, and that it would be terrible. I was really, really wrong. The trailers don't do this movie justice at all, because obviously they can't show everything that goes on in the movie.  Anyways, I really enjoyed this movie. Sure, the story doesn't make much sense, and the actors spew some REALLY dumb lines later (this is on purpose however), and some people might be turned off by the film-scratch effect. People, it's supposed to be like this! There is a reason the movie looks really low budget, it's because (as I explained at the beginning) it is almost-spoofing grindhouse films. I actually liked the whole look, and thought it brought some authenticity to the movie. This is a very, very minor nitpick, but i was wondering the whole movie why they had smartphones in this movie. To me it kind of clashed with the whole "70's movie" vibe but I didn't really mind it that much and it didn't subtract from the overall experience. I pretty much loved everything else in the movie though, and Rose McGowan and Freddy Rodriguez are AWESOME!!! Especially Rose McGowan. All in all, pure brutal gory action fun that is always entertaing and capapble of multiple re-watches.

DEATH PROOF
This is definitely a slower film, however, I like it just as much, maybe even better, than Planet Terror.  The story consists of an old, lone man, known as Stuntman Mike (excellently played by Kurt Russel.) He is a serial killer who takes teenage girls, charms them into taking a ride with him, and then brutally kills them in his "Death Proof" car. I won't spoil the rest, but basically, he messes with the wrong girls. Now, because this film's first action scene is about, like 20 or 30 minutes into the movie, some people may be turned off by all the chatter between the teenage girls. I myself, found the things they talked about somewhat funny, and also entertaining. But beware, people who don't like a lot of talking, this may be annoying for you. Even after the first action scene, there is still lots of talking to be had. Like I said before though, I liked it, and it really isn't that bad because Stuntman Mike (the bad guy) is in these scenes, and some of the things he says/does are really creepy. However, a good hour and a half into the movie (give or take) the real action starts. Oh my god, I really think this is my favorite car chase in any movie I've ever seen. Well, there really are two car chases, both just as gripping and intense. I'll just finish up by saying the ending is so awesome yet brutal at the same time, that it will make you wish the movie was longer.

All in all both these movies show off the director's key filming style's, and the fake trailers inbetween the two movies are awesome (you will see what I mean once you watch the film)

I give Grindhouse a 10/10

Planet Terror a 9.5/10
Death Proof a 9.8/10

Happy Summer
-The Loser

The First Three Saw Movies

THE FIRST THREE SAW MOVIES

Note: I know The Fail did a review on the first one

SAW 1: This is my favorite out of the first three. It didn't overdo it with the gore, while it is still bloody. But it is bloody in a more economical way than the others. The blood is only here for the story, not just for shock effect. I liked the story the most, and just when you think everything is solved, the movie throws a curveball at you. Awesome ending and cool characters. I also like the music.

SAW 2: While decent,  it definetly is not as good as the first one. It starts right off with one of Jigsaw's death traps, which seems somewhat primitive. If you're really in the mood for gore, just watch the trap scenes in this one online (they aren't even that good) and read the story online. However, if you want more than gore, the movie is still worth a watch, but the ending isin't very good, and didn't make much sense too me.

SAW 3: Better than the second, worse than the first. While it definitely amps up the gore factor, and the story is pretty good, I just did not like it as much as the first one. Pretty close to it though. Awesome ending also.  Definitely the most gruesome of the three.

SCORES


SAW: 9.5
SAW II: 8.0
SAW III: 8.7

The Karate Kid: Review by The Loser

THE KARATE KID
REVIEW BY THE LOSER




PLOT: 12 year old Dre (played by Jaden Smith) is a kid from Detroit who moves to China because of his mom's work. When he arrives, he receives massive culture shock and is bullied from a group of kids in school. He feels like he does not belong and says he hates living in China. One day, he gets back at the bullies by showering them with dirty water. They proceed to chase him through the streets and slums until they finally corner him. Finally, when Dre loses all hope, his apartment's maintenance man, Mr.Han, shows up and easily incapacitates all of the bullies. Dumbfounded that the maintenance worker is also a Kung-Fu master, Dre starts to train with the man for a Kung-Fu tournament coming up.


PROS: In the way this movie was made, I can't imagine anyone else playing Dre other than Jaden Smith. His cocky, conceited attitude is perfect for the role. I also liked how this movie was not an exact remake of the first film. Sure, the basic story template remains pretty much the same, but all the little details are different. Instead of taking place in the U.S, The Karate Kid was filmed completely in China, which I thought was great considering that a lot of movies that take place in other countries usually means being filmed in a random city in the U.S. 
The characters for the most part are likeable, though I felt that Dre's mom (Taraji P. Henson) has a little too much screentime for her own good. Jackie Chan is excellently cast as Mr. Han, and his talent shows. Dre's love interest Mei Ying, is likeable, albeit 1 dimensional. But of course, people see a movie called The Karate Kid for the fight scenes, not the characters or romances.  Those people will be pleased. Very pleased. Not only are the fight scenes in this extremely entertaining; you actually get the feeling that it is a real competition and you are rooting for someone. The sounds of punches and kicks are appropriately brutal, and the film includes some notable things form the original.


CONS: Parents bringing little kids to see this BE WARNED. The movie is surprisingly violent, especially in scenes where Dre is being punched in the gut by the bully. Children may be frightened. Other than that,  I can't think of any real bad things about the movie. 


BOTTOM LINE: A solid film from director  Harald Zwart. After seeing his other movies such as Agent Cody Banks and The Pink Panther 2, this movie seemed like it was from a completely different director. Fun movie that I recommend for everyone.


Is It Funny? Somewhat, though don't expect a laugh riot
Does it live up to the hype? Yes
Wait for DVD? No, watch it in theaters
OVERALL RATING: 9/10

SAW

this movie is about to guys that wake up in a room, completely confused how they got there. they each have no idea whats going on. they are both chained to poles across the room from eachother, larry, is much smarter then the other, adam. larry finds a tape in his pocket that tells him that if he doesn't kill adam by 6 o'clock they will both die. larry has a wife and a daughter. throughout the movie it shows flashbacks and explanations of how they got there. it also explains who jigsaw is, who is "supposedly" the man who has them locked up. they also find things in the room throughout the movie, such as ways to kill adam or things reveiling them selves to the other person, like photographs. the movie is very interesting

when i first heard about this movie, i thought it was just a load of blood and gore, with no real story. when i saw the movie, today, i was blown away at its amazing plot and excellent way of delivering information about the characters .although it had a lot of blood and gore in it it was very well made. i have all the sequels lined up on my queue for netflix. this is definetly a must- see movie.

rewatch value- 8.6

overall grade- 9.4

Toy Story 3 Review by The Loser

TOY STORY 3

Before I go into review, I just wanted to let out a quick comment.
You Will Enjoy This Movie Much More If You See The Prequels

Plot: The plot revolves around the toy's including Woody, Buzz, and the others. They desperatly try every day to get the attention of the kid who owns them, Andy. However, Andy does not play with them like he used to. He is 17 now and going off to college. Andy's mom walks into his room and tells him to sort out all his things. One group of things will go in the trash, the other group will go in the attic, and the other group will go with Andy to college. Andy gets put into the group that will go with Andy to college, and the other toys will go in the attic. However, Andy's mom thinks that Andy wants to throw away the other toy's so she puts the bag full of the toys at the curb for the garbage truck to pick up. Andy tries to get them out of the garbage bag, but the toys had already escaped and were in the trunk of the mom's car. Andy goes to the trunk and talks to them about how Andy didn't throw them away and the bags got mixed up, but the toys are still mad. Suddenly, the trunk closes and the mom takes all the toys to a daycare to donate them. The toys are the introduced to the other toys in the daycare, such as a giant bear who seems to be the leader and all his followers. At first the bear seems nice, but they later see his evil side. The rest of the movie revolves around the toys trying to get back home and escape from the daycare, where toddlers bite and chew on the toys.

PROS: Not one of those kid's movies full of burp jokes that cease to be funny once you grow a brain cell. Some of the humor in this movie is actually genuinely funny. Jokes never fall flat, (the theater I was in was full of laughing people, mostly adults) and the writing here is pretty good. Tom Hanks and Tim Allen deliver perfectly as their roles as Woody and Buzz Lightyear. One thing I have to say I really liked about this movie is that it is a good film for people of all ages. Parents going to see this with their children groaning because they think it will be another Shrek 3 will be proven wrong. For me, this movie had a great nostalgic factor (Toy Story and Toy Story 2  were among my favorite films when I was little). Scenes such as the one where Woody shows Andy's name on his shoe, just for some reason tapped my memory. Lots of little things like this just made the movie very enjoyable for me. Oh also I do not know how to stress this enough but I am so happy this movie has no burp/fart jokes.... those aren't funny in the least bit. Also, this movie seems to know how not to take jokes too far. For example, one of the jokes is that Buzz gets messed up and starts acting like an elegant Spanish speaking womanizer. The joke is done just enough that it is still funny, while not overdoing it. One last thing. This movie, actually can become pretty emotionally heavy, especially towards the end. If you cry during movies, you will during this one.

Cons: Hardly any cons. If I could nitpick one thing, it's that this movie just didn't seem to have that thing to it that the prequels did. That's probably only because I saw those when I was very little so they will always be special to me. Oh, and the scene at the landfill in this movie was a little, weird for a kids movie. ESPECIALLY when they are near the incinerator. I mean, it just seems silly quite frankly. I hated the scene with the incinerator. It was all dramatic and stuff and not just that but for little kids was probaly scary. I didn't like it at all. The movie took itself too seriously at this part.

BOTTOM LINE: A great film that will stay with you for a long time. People who have seen the first couple movies will enjoy this one a lot more. Watch it, definetly. It is proof that a movie does not need to have violence or blood or sex in it to be enjoyable.

Did it live up to the hype? Yes
Is it funny? Yes
OVERALL RATING: 10/10

Chaplin

Starring robert downey Jr. comes a true story about a man named charlie Chaplin. if you are unfamiliar with charlie Chaplin, then you haven't lived a full life. charlie Chaplin was the king of slapstick. he INVENTED IT. this movie explains his life, and it is an excellent movie. If you liked forest gump your going to LOVE this. Now i am not a fan of dramas, and this is a drama. i loved this movie. it was put together very nicely and was completly true. it has loads of slapstick and funny stuff in it also. it was also VERY entertaining. its on netflix instant play so go check it out.

rewatch: yes

overall grade: 9.7/10

Remake Or Original? The Day The Earth Stood Still

  












VS

REMAKE OR ORIGINAL: THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

The Remake or Original posts will be a new thing I do. This is where I compare 2 movies. The remake, and the original. Today I will be talking about the film The Day The Earth Stood Still.

PLOT OF ORIGINAL MOVIE: A flying saucer orbits the 1950s Earth. It lands in Washington, DC, on the Mall. The lone occupant steps out and is shot by a jumpy soldier. Gort, a large and very powerful robot appears to save himWhen a sphere from outer space lands in the Central Park in Manhattan, a group of scientists are summoned by the American government under the call of the Secretary of Defense Regina Jackson. The reborn alien form Klaatu is brought to a military facility and Dr. Helen Benson decides to help him to escape and become the only chance to save the mankind from destruction and is able to melt tanks with the slightest bit of his power. The wounded alien orders Gort to stop his rampage and is taken to a hospital from which he escapes in order to learn more about this planet, even moving in as a boarder with an Earth family. When they begin to suspect him, he reveals himself, along with the news that Gort is a member of a race of super-robot enforcers invented to keep the peace of the galaxy that will destroy the Earth if provoked.

PLOT OF REMAKE:When a sphere from outer space lands in the Central Park in Manhattan, a group of scientists are summoned by the American government under the call of the Secretary of Defense Regina Jackson. The reborn alien form Klaatu is brought to a military facility and Dr. Helen Benson decides to help him to escape and become the only chance to save the mankind from destruction.

PROS OF ORIGINAL: The dialog you will find here is some of the best in any science fiction movie. The alien, Klaatu, is in a human body, so he is much more beliveable than if he was wearing some sort of suit. The writing is good enough so that it actullay seems like he is an alien, and he gives some inteteresting and well written speeches about human nature and how war will destroy the planet. Of course, it always nice when the aliens are not blindly just killing humans. The alien in this movie warns the humans that if  they continue waging wars and killing each other, he will be forced to destroy Earth. Overall nice plot, and some of the best writing you will see in  a Sci-Fi movie. Not to mention, the special effects are pretty decent for a movie made in 1951.

PROS OF REMAKE: This is definitely a more action oriented movie. That is not necessarily a bad thing. The special effects are good, and even though there is not a ton of action, the movie still manages to be pretty entertaining.  Of course I love Keanu Reeves in all his roles, and he was excellent in this. The role of a logical alien observing the human race is right up his alley, and I think he is what made this movie so special for me. The new addition of killer nanobites that eat up everything in their path is pretty cool, and it is executed well. This movie definetly has more action than the first one though, and is more popcorn-movie-ish.

CONS of Original: I really loved the original, and I couldn't find anything wrong with it. For what it does, it is a great movie.

CONS of Remake: Tries to be something it is not. The movie wants to be an action thriller, along with a doomsday movie, along with an intelligent-thinking- type movie. While it pulls all of these off fairly well, it seems to lose focus towards the end.

BOTTOM LINE: Both of these are excellent films, and I would recommend both to any science fiction fan. If you are looking for a timeless classic that seems to get better with age, the first one is for you. If you are looking for a great movie, while not all that memorable, still good, than the second one is for you.

SCORES: 

ORIGINAL 9.5/10

REMAKE 8.8/10

REWATCH?

Original: Yes

Remake: Yes

FUNNY?

Both: No

G.I Joe- Rise of Cobra

G.I JOE: RISE OF COBRA
REVIEW BY
THE LOSER














G.I Joe: Rise of Cobra is based off the series of Hasbro toys.  For some people this was a major turnoff, almost as if they made a movie based off those little green army men. One thing that a lot of people noticed is that it had the same director as The Mummy.  And so movie-goers like me flocked to our nearest theater and sat down with our popcorn looking for a good time. For the most part, thats what we got.

The movie follows Duke, an army soldier who is tasked with a mission to transport a secure nano-bite weapon to a location. He goes with his fellow soldiers and on the way they get ambushed. Their enemy uses super advanced weaponry and just when they are about to be crushed, Duke's ex, (he does not know she is his ex at the moment, and she is also the enemy) orders the attack to be stopped. They take the weapon to their base, and the rest of the movie revolves around them trying to get the weapon back, as it is extermely dangerous.

Pros: The action scenes are entertaining, somewhat likeable, (if one dimensonal) characters, and a decent story for this kind of adreanline fuled brainless action flick. You wont really get bored during this movie, and it seems to have this constant tension in the plot, so something is always going on.

Cons: I don't know about other people, but this movie ALWAYS gives me a headache, and at the same exact spot. The scene when the G-I Joe team (the elite team Duke is on) launches a submarine assualt against the enemy base. Something about this scene does not agree with my migranes, and even if you don't get a headache, it is disorienting and annoying. There also is a subplot about these superhumans that the villian is creating, but this idea is never really excersiced to its full potential. Not to mention, the villian is EXTEREMLY unlikable, in almost every way. He isn't even cool, just a guy with throat problems.

Bottom Line: Same deal is Day of the Dead. If your looking for some cheap action and laughs, you can't go wrong with this one.

Rewatch? Yes
Watchable? If you like action, then yes
Funny? Somewhat, but if you have seen the trailers a lot of the jokes will fall flat.
OVERALL RATING: 8/10

Knowing: Review by The Loser

KNOWING:

In 1959, at William Dawes Elementary School in Lexington, Massachusetts, a time capsule containing students' drawings of their ideas of the future is buried and set to be ceremoniously opened 50 years later. A girl named Lucinda Embry contributes a page full of seemingly random numbers although she is stopped before she completes the page. That night, she is found in a school closet, where she has scratched the remaining numbers on the door with her bare hands, and she has complained about hearing voices in her head.

In 2009, the time capsule is opened and the drawings are given to the current students. A boy named Caleb receives Lucinda's envelope. His father, John Koestler, a widower and professor of astrophysics at MIT, takes interest in the paper and soon realizes some of the digits represent the dates and death tolls of every major disaster over the past fifty years, and suggests three disasters still to come. Meanwhile Caleb begins receiving visits from mysterious figures in overcoats, "The Strangers". During these encounters he hears their overlapping telepathic whispers.

Pros: Some pretty High-octane action scenes going on here. My personal favorite one being the plane crashing into the highway. It's pretty intense and you see burning people screaming as they stumble around on the ground. It's entertaining as hell, albeit gruesome.

Cons: Way to many to name, but I will try to tell you how bad this movie is. Ok, first of all, the actors might as well be zombies. Nicholas Cage delivers his lines with the enthusiasam of a paitent with terminal cancer, and the child actors are so honest to god-awful, that I cringed every time they spoke. Some of you may recognize Caleb as the kid from I Am Legend. (He didn't speak in that movie;no wonder it was so good). While not as bad, John's friend, Diana, is completely unremarkable, along with every other actor in the movie. One thing that is always stuck in my mind is the scene when they dig up the time capsule in the school yard, all the children get pictures except for Caleb. While Caleb is looking at the sheet of numbers he dug up, a boy walks over to him and says, "Haha, all of us got pictures!" Yet this line is unreasonably badly delivered, and I mean BAD. It is so bad, in acting school, they should use it as an example of what NOT to do.

Besides the abmysal acting, the movie's disaster scenes are also boring and dumb (albeit the plane scene, which i liked). The train disaster makes no sense and I don't even remember if they explained how it happened. Also, the biggest and final disaster, where (SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT) the Earth is destroyed probaly has the worst special effects in recent memory.

Oh yes, speaking of the ending. IT WAS THE WORST ENDING POSSIBLE!  It rendered the ENTIRE movie useless, because no matter how much Nicholas Cage tried to stop the disasters, HE COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. So, (SPOILERS) Earth blows up anyways, making all that reaserch and talking in the movie useless,  which makes you think about how much time you wasted watching Knowing.

BOTTOM LINE: Thankfully, I saw Kick-Ass AFTER I saw this movie, which reminded me again about why I like Nicholas Cage. This movie looked awesome in it's teaser trailers and massive marketing campaign, but it DID NOT live up to the hype. See, this is one of those movies where if someone told me to review it IMMEDIATLY after I saw it, I would probaly have rated it higher and liked it more. But once you think about the abmysal acting, laughable story, mediocre special effects, and boring and uninteresting characters, you realize how bad this movie is. Oh one more thing. In the end,  some sort of mystical beings (I think aliens) take the kids to another planet to avoid Earth's impending demise. IT IS THE STUPIDESSTT thing ever!  The kids run away holding animals to explore this new planet and... AGHHHHHH!!! DO NOT see this movie! EVER!

Did it live up to the hype? NO

Re-Watchable?  NO

Watchable? If you can ignore the acting and special effects, it is somewhat watchable. I suggest turning it off thirty minutes before the movie ends though.

OVERALL SCORE: 4/10

Day of The Dead (Remake)

DAY OF THE DEAD: REVIEW BY THE LOSER
Day of The Dead is a movie based of the George A. Romero film of the same name. It's your typical zombie flick. Virus spreads in a small town, people turn into flesh eating zombies, can only be killed with a head shot or fire. A group of people who are immune (which include a woman army soldier, a teenage couple and a black man.

Pros:  If you just want to see a good ol' zombie flick, this is your movie. Yes it is stupid, and most (all) of the jokes fall flat, but it is still fun to watch and a good movie to watch on a rainy weekend day. Also, one thing I liked about this movie is that, it seemed less; grim, than other zombie flicks. It has its comic relief characters and such, and of course all the fake things in cinema go for this movie such as: the people never have to go to the bathroom, eat, or drink. They are always full on ammunition for their weapons, and they are completely calm when zombies attack. This movie gets good 30 minutes in, when they arrive at the hospital, everyone is a zombie and all hell breaks loose.  My favorite character was probaly the black dude, because he was so stereotypical and constantly shouting one liners and pop culture refrences, I just kinda thought he was cool.

Cons: Completely thrown-together story, without even seeing the re-make i can tell that this one's story is not faithful to the orignal's at all.  The ending was extermely anti-climactic to say the least, and left you wanting more. The black dude (my favorite character), dies without any rhyme or reason, and nothing changed because of his death, I thought his death was completely pointless and a symptom of poor writing.

Bottom Line: If you're bored and just looking for some cheap entertainment, you can't go wrong with Day of the Dead.

Entertainment Score: 9
Rewatch Score: 6
OVERALL SCORE: 8/10

Cons:

UPDATE: NEW MEMBER INSANE CRITIC and Star Trek Review

ATTN: A NEW BLOGGER HAS JOINED THE LOSERS, SO EVERYONE SAY HI TO INSANE CRITIC.

STAR TREK REVIEW
On the day of James Kirk's birth, his father dies on his ship in a last stand against a mysterious alien vessel. He was looking for Ambassador Spock, who is a child on Vulcan at that time, disdained by his neighbors for his half-human nature. Twenty years later, Kirk has grown into a young troublemaker inspired by Capt. Christopher Pike to fulfill his potential in Starfleet even as he annoys his instructors like young Lt. Spock. Suddenly, there is an emergency at Vulcan and the newly commissioned USS Enterprise is crewed with promising cadets like Nyota Uhura, Hikaru Sulu, Pavel Chekov and even Kirk himself thanks to Leonard McCoy's medical trickery. Together, this crew will have an adventure in the final frontier where the old legend is altered forever even as the new version of it is just beginning.




Pros: Like Avatar, but better. I personally think this movie has top-notch writing, especially in the scenes where Spock (Zachary Quinto) has his epic monologues. Anyways, one thing I have to say right off the bat is that you dont need to know any of the Star Trek lore to understand the story. The movie explains it pretty well, and thanks to some great camera work and acting, makes you very sad in the beginning of the movie, in a scene where a captain has to sacrifice himself to save his child. I was actually surprised how emotionally impactful this scene was. Also, I love this part where one of the crew members on the ship gets sucked into space and the second she flies into space it turns silent (no sound in space). I think the merit for best actor in this movie goes to Zachary Quinto. He is perfectly suited for the role of an emotionless, intelligent Vulcan (Vulcans are a human-like alien race). Pretty much everything he says is interesting to listen to, and if you are one of those people who hates movies with lots of talking, you will still love the talking in this movie.


Cons:A few weak scenes here and there, some pointless scenes also. Almost a complete lack of licensed tracks, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I still like it when a movie has some good songs in it.


Bottom Line: A much better film than Avatar. J.J Abrams is at his best here, and an excellent cast of actors. The epicness of this movie is also up to par with that of Avatar. If you like Sci Fi, see this movie. Also, if you didn't LOVE Avatar, you will still like this movie.
Entertainment Rating: 9
Hype Rating: 10
Overall Score: 9.3

Shutter Island: Review by Insane Critic

This was an excellent movie. i'd say its an 9.5. it has a great plot, a great cast, and an absolutely amazing ending. now getting more specific i took away that .5 because the ending was kind of confusing. i dont want to give away the crazy twist, but you really have to listen to what there talking about when leonardo dicaprio goes to the lighthouse.

somtimes it got kind of stupid like when leonardo is in the holding cells for the really insane people, they made the guys in there BUTT NAKED! i mean really you could at least give them a blanket!! i thought dorthea dix already solved that problem. otherwise it was fantastic.

some people say that the movie is kind of repetitive, but it isn't. you really just have to pay attention in the talking scenes. youll be amazed by this movies twist. if you havent seen this movie yet, YOU HAVE TO!!!

UPDATE:: KICK-ASS REVIEW

Hi people. I have updated my review of Kick-Ass.

It now has a much easier to read text style and more detailed Pro and Con sections.

Enjoy!

-The Loser

Avatar

THE LOSER: AVATAR REVIEW

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A huge commerical sucsess, Avatar won over audinces with its mind-blowing special effects and 3-D Technology. Im here to tell you why it really is not that good.

When his brother is killed in a robbery, paraplegic Marine Jake Sully decides to take his place in a mission on the distant world of Pandora. There he learns of greedy corporate figurehead Parker Selfridge's intentions of driving off the native humanoid "Na'vi" in order to mine for the precious material scattered throughout their rich woodland. In exchange for the spinal surgery that will fix his legs, Jake gathers intel for the cooperating military unit spearheaded by gung-ho Colonel Quaritch, while simultaneously attempting to infiltrate the Na'vi people with the use of an "avatar" identity. While Jake begins to bond with the native tribe and quickly falls in love with the beautiful alien Neytiri, the restless Colonel moves forward with his ruthless extermination tactics, forcing the soldier to take a stand - and fight back in an epic battle for the fate of Pandora.

Pros: The movie has the best special effects to date. The world James Cameron has created is simply beautiful. With a lush ecosystem and terrain, it really is a finely crafted world.

Beyond the special effects, the movie has one thing going for it, that being: Epicness. Epicness is a word I will use a lot in my reviews. Basically, it means huge and awesome. That word pertains to this movie because of the scenes where dramatic music is playing and missiles are firing and trees are collapsing and shit. It really is quite the spectacle.

Cons:

I think that explains the plot...

but yes, the movie is an exact copy of Pocahontas. It screams environmentalist, (while not necessarily an entirely bad thing, it does get annoying with the whole "mother tree" fiasco. Also, the 3-D in this movie ABSOLUTELY SUCKED! Not ONE thing popped out at me the whole time. Oh, and Avatar, by the way, thanks for the offer but I don't get turned on by 9' foot blue people doing it in the forest. Also, this HAS to be the dumbest title ever. I know me and a lot of other people thought of that Nickelodeon cartoon The Last Airbender when we first heard of this movie. Not only that, but there actually is a movie coming out by M.Night.Shamylan called The Last Airbender! I can just imagine, some big-box office- assholes sitting at their desks. "Hey, lets name the movie Avatar because maybe more kids will see it!" Yea, if I made this movie, I would have pushed the rating up to R, added a more grim storyline, make the aliens look cooler than 9 foot walking dicks, and add an original story.

Bottom Line: While it may seem like the CONS outweigh the PROS, it is still a good movie. It's special effects really will blow you away, and for some time in the movie, you really get immersed into it. My personal favorite scene was the scene where the aliens teach Jake Sully (main character) to fly one of the native birds on the planet. I just thought it was a nice touch to the movie. All in all, Avatar is a good movie that goes on for WAY too long, has a EXTREMELY SUCKISH ENDING!! Seriously, the ending is terrible. If you like Sci-Fi, see it. Otherwise, don't.

"How entertaining was it?": 7

Did it live up to the hype? : 7

Overall Score: 7

Black Hawk Down

BLACK HAWK DOWN: LOSER REVIEW

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Black Hawk Down is a 2001 American war film co-produced and directed by Ridley Scott, who also directed the movie Alien, and Blade Runner, along with others. and based on the book of the same title by Mark Bowden that depicts the Battle of Mogadishu, a raid integral to the United States' effort to capture Somali warlord Mohamed Farrah Aidid.

In a raid, a task force of Delta Force soldiers, Army Rangers, and Special Operations Aviation Regiment attempt to capture two of Mohamed Farah Aidid's senior subordinates in the Bakaara Market neighborhood of Mogadishu. The mission is led by Major General William F. Garrison and is supposed to take no more than half an hour. The extraction by the Delta team is successful, but the Somali militia, armed with RPGs, shoot down two Black Hawk helicopters, and the resulting rescue extends the mission to over 18 hours.

PROS: Like Call of Duty? Good, because this movie plays out completely like a level of Call of Duty. U.S soldiers arrive in a town to capture the subordinates of a known terrorist. At first everything seems to go well, no gun is fired, but then, (just like Call of Duty) a group of terrorists with RPG's fire at the helicopters letting soldiers onto the ground. It is a nicely done scene, and even though the rocket does not hit the helicopter, the helicopter swerves, causing a soldier rappeling down to fall. It is a nice little subplot how they try to get him evacuated, but keep getting into trouble. Not much to say besides this: This movie has some cool action scenes and a somewhat cool (i guess) scene where the gun of one soldier deafens the other soldier.

CONS: They don't make you care why the army is doing this, besides a short intro, which still isn't very convincing that this terrorist is actually a very bad guy. The whole movie has this somewhat, gray color. I can't explain it well, but it has a dull color pallet. I know its only because the movie is in an urban environment 90% of the time, but I wish they were in a somewhat more colorful place.

BOTTOM LINE: A movie that is worth your time, while definitely no Hurt Locker, or Full Metal Jacket, It is still an enjoyable and entertaining movie.

SCORE: 7/10

Hardboiled

HARDBOILED: The Loser review

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Hardboiled is legendary director John Woo's last film before he came to the United States. The entire film is in Chinese. It follows the story of Tequila, hardboiled cop who is out for revenge on a criminal organization that killed his partner.

Pros: The Die Hard of China. No, the plots are very different, as are the characters, but both are excellent action films. When you first start up Hardboiled, you might think it is a slow movie. I am guilty of this, but a few minutes into the movie, you are thrown into one of the most well done action scenes ever filmed. Bullets fly everywhere, ricocheting and piercing flesh. Tequila slides down the hand guards of stairways, dual wielding pistols, and landing head shots. Not only are a lot of people shot, but it is also very bloody. Bullets act like they would in real life, spilling blood by the gallons. I cannot describe the scene very well, but if you see it you will completely understand. It is amazing. Now, while all this shooting is going on, Tequila's partner is being pounded with bullets. This movie is not 24 or Commando where the bullets seem to move out of the main character's way. Tequila's partner is shot and shot until he is coughing blood. Finally, he dies, and in an awesome following scene, Tequila grabs the man who shot his partner and takes him out at close range with a pistol head shot. Another thing I love about this movie is the completely appropriate story, it is not a Fast and Furious type movie where there is an enormous, impossible to follow without getting bored plot. No, this movies plot is easy to follow and everything that Tequila does is completely realistic (save for the over the top action scenes). You start to really like his character, and his friend who is an undercover cop that was working with a criminal gang.

Besides the opening scene, there are 2 other scenes that are sublime in terms of action. The warehouse scene and the Hospital shootout. If you like action, you will absolutely love these scenes.

This may just be me, but I think the fact that the film is in Chinese adds a lot of authenticity and a special touch to the film. Besides, I take subtitles over dubbing ANYDAY.

CONS: Some fake sounding gunshot sound effects, and you will soon know that a certian sound is used for all pistols, one for all shotguns, ect. Also, some people may have a problem with the film being in Chinese, but I actually like it. Besides that, no other bad things come to mind. It isin't a 10/10, but is definitely a fine piece of work.

BOTTOM LINE: If you speak Chinese and like action movies, you will love this movie. If you do not speak Chinese and like action movies, you will still love this movie. From beginning to end, it is an engaging film and one of the most entertaining I have seen in a while. If you like stylish action, you will definitely love this movie. This was my first John Woo movie, and has given me a great impression of him, and not to mention Chow Yun Fat (the actor who plays Tequila). This is a must watch for fans of action.

Score: 9.0 out of 10

Kick-Ass (SPOILER ALERT)

KICK-ASS: Review by The Loser

Kick-Ass earned over $12 million internationally in advance of opening in the United States. On its debut weekend in the United States, it took in $19.8 million in 3,065 theaters, averaging $6,444 per theater. Kick-Ass was reported #1, slightly ahead of How to Train Your Dragon in that film's third week. The numbers included non-weekend preview earnings. The opening week numbers were considered by analysts and the media to be a disappointment, though "fairly solid". The basic premise of the story is, one day a teenage boy named Dave questions why no one has tried to be a superhero, even though comics have millions of fans worldwide. He decides he wants to be the first one, so he gets a costume, and weapons and heads out to fight crime. He is Kick-Ass, superhero extrodinarre. Along the way he meets some friends, and some enemies. The film shows realistically how doing this in real life could result in PLENTY of life threatening situations and also many responsibilities

PROS:` Let me just start off by saying I love the main character, Dave. He is close to my age, so I can relate with him well.Like a lot of boys in high school, he is invisible to girls, has a huge crush on a girl he never has the guts to talk to, and spends his time on the computer watching porn or chatting with his friends. He felt very organic, not like a template. He was not a "nerd" or "jock" or "emo" he was just a "dude". I love his narration of high school life and just the thoughts going around in his head. There obviously was a lot of thought put into this movie's writing, and it is clearly visible. Also, unlike most movies, I liked the romance story between Dave and his love interest, Katie. Let me just quickly explain. So Dave wants to be a superhero and fight crime, so his first 2 victims are 2 thugs that always rob him on his way back from school. The day after he becomes "Kick-Ass" (his superhero alter-ego), he decides he needs to put their petty crimes to rest. Dave (Kick-Ass) walks up to them in full costume, takes out his 2 metal batons (weapons of choice) and starts whacking them. He takes out the first guy, but the second one dodges all his attacks and takes out a knife and stabs Dave. Dave ends up in the hospital, and afterwards, his dad tells him they found him with no clothes on. Dave realizes his dad thinks he was raped, and tells him that the doctor threw away his clothes in the ambulance because of the blood. Of course, word spreads, and in school people suspect Dave is gay because they think he was raped by the thugs who stabbed him. So when Dave is at his locker, his crush, Katie (who is appropriately hot) walks up to him and asks him if he wants to hang out at the comic store after school.

From that point on, they are best friends (Katie thinks Dave is her "gay BFF"). And I found myself thinking "comeon! tell her you aren't gay!". He does eventually, and its funny when he does because he climbs through Katie's window in full Kick-Ass costume, causing her to panic and spray hairspray in his eyes.

Another set of characters I loved were Big Daddy and Hit Girl. Big Daddy is the daughter of Hit Girl, and they are both trying to put a drug dealer lord behind bars. From their first scene, you can tell they are severely fucked up in the head. Big Daddy offers Hit Girl ice cream if she practices being shot with armor 3 more times. Also, when Big Daddy asks Hit Girl what she wants for her birthday, Hit Girl replies with a puppy and a Bratz doll. Big Daddy looks at her like "what the hell?" and Hit Girl (who is 11 by the way) responds with "Im just fuckin wit ya daddy, I want 2 butterfly knives." They both laugh and the dad says "thats my girl!". I love it.

Last part of Pro's is the action scenes. Amazing. Completely and utterly, brilliant. They are both disturbing and intense, you cheer on the good guys all through them, (especially in a certain torture scene. The final act of the movie is one of the best i have seen in my life.

CONS: Torwards the end of the movie,Kick-Ass turns into what it is supposed to be parodying; a superhero movie. This is a very small complaint, as I really would rather have that then seeing him being beat up by thugs. Also, I disliked how Hit Girl stole the show a lot, and I wanted Kick-Ass to actually, you know, KICK ASS at some parts and he did and at the end he is a complete monster (speaking figuratively) but I wish he would have beat up some more bad dudes, as he was my favorite character. These are minor complaints aside from an incredible film.

BOTTOM LINE: Don't go to this movie expecting a lighthearted-comedic spoof. While it is very funny, it also has a very serious tone, showing what kind of shit you could get into being a superhero. Extremly violent and vulgar, it is not for the faint of heart. If this seems right up your alley though, by all means see it. It may take you some time to realize just how good and entertaining it is, but IT WILL KICK YOUR ASS!

(Also, Dave's girlfriend is extremely hot.)

SCORE: 9.8